According to the dictionary there are various definitions for the word “space”; during childhood we were taught the meaning of space as “A continuous area or expanse, which is free, available or unoccupied”. NASA may define space as “the region beyond the earth’s atmosphere or beyond the solar system and so on.” But here I am not discussing about any of these. What is space according to you? A mother, a father, a child, a husband and a wife may have different definitions for space in their life. Surprisingly I found the meaning of the space that I was looking for in Merriam Webster dictionary. This is what I found – “the distance from other people or things that a person needs in order to remain comfortable.” We often hear teenagers complaining that their parents don’t give them enough space or it could be a husband or a wife saying that their better half doesn’t give them enough privacy.
As I was going through few blogs I found something interesting from Shirish Kunder’s column. It was an answer to a concern raised by a 19-year-old guy with respect to his mother that she doesn’t understand the concept of giving him space and she keeps checking his wardrobes, pockets and phone. The hilarious answer given by Shirish sir actually made me put on my thinking hat and gave me the thought of writing this article. This is how Shirish Sir responded to that guy’s concern:
“Dear P Vig,
Get used to it. Today it’s your mother; tomorrow it will be your wife. If you tell them not to, or lock your stuff, they will suspect even more. Thanks to our ancestors, no one trusts us men anymore. The only solution is to marry a woman who has secrets of her own. Since she won’t want you to check her stuff, she won’t check yours.” (Kunder)
He has put the universal truth in a very sarcastic manner. I cannot talk much on space between a mother and a child, as my princess is still young to say that she needs her own space. But in future it may happen that she will say “mom give me some space”. Anyway I am not the kind who will leave my child to do whatever she wants to without my knowledge, rather I would prefer to grow my child to be free to share her life with me without being worried that I would judge her or get angry unnecessarily. I believe honesty in any relationship is very important. Bring up your child in such a way that they will not do anything that will make them stand as an offender in front of their parents. In the place of rules and restrictions there should be an environment of sharing and understanding. Always discuss with your child about the real difference between right and wrong. Respect their opinion and guide them with your advices out of your experiences. This would be a part of my effort in bringing up my little princess.
How many of you check your husbands mobile or let me ask how many of you give space to your husband? I give full space to my husband. Yes, I do. I check his mobile, his calls, messages and almost everything but still I give him space. At least this is what he admits. Trust me I asked my husband before I started writing this – do I give you enough space? He said – yes dear of course you do. Now don’t get me wrong, I did not force him to say this. I asked him through a phone call so that he could say the truth. Now you may wonder what I am talking about. Am I playing way too smart or fooling around! Here the definition of space is different. For me space is not letting your loved one to remain lonely in their life, instead be a part of their life. Make your mind liberal enough so that you can understand his lifestyle and be a part of it. We even enjoy the comments and chats together, which are sent by some unknown trespassers in his mobile.
It’s true that we as a women are much curious than men to peep into others life, especially if it’s our brother, sister or husband. For me it’s very important that I am always aware of their whereabouts. I hardly checked my brothers mobile because those days mobile phones were not that popular and by the time it came into existence we had already crossed our teenage life, so I never found it necessary. But it was not same in my sister’s case, as she had a mobile pretty earlier in her hand. So I made sure once in a while I would check her phone when I am around. I know at times she might have not liked it, but I believe because of those days we still share a very strong bond. It was in a healthy way because the aim was just to know what is happening in her life, whether she had good friends or not. May be sometimes its necessary to keep a track of their social media account too as most of the crimes these days are cyber related and the young kids fall into such traps pretty easily. Whenever I checked I always discussed with her about the messages, her friends, what should be the boundary for any relationship and so on. In short I used to give her an insight of what’s right and what’s wrong.
By writing up this article I am not suggesting anyone to go and check people’s mobile or personal stuff. Here I have just put my opinion or you can say I have tried to put a glimpse of my life. Everyone will have his or her own opinion and preferences. The important part is how you teach your children to use there given space wisely. I personally think there should be space given to your children but it should be in such a way that they are comfortable to share their life with their parent’s at least to a certain extent. Try to understand your child; think of the time when you were of their age and the support you needed that time. It should not be that difficult to understand the next generation because everybody has crossed their teenage before they grew up.
In our busy life we hardly get enough time to spend with our family. Whatever time we get if we spend that with our mobile phone or social networking sites then how do your expect to bring in peace in your life? Instead of having personal circles in social networking sites make real circles and enjoy the time with your spouse, parents, siblings and real friends. This will help you increase your trust factor in every relationship.
Hopefully I have justified my point of view. Do let me know what you feel about this opinion and also feel free to give your comments below. You can also mail me @
I will be glad to hear from you 🙂
“Definition Of SPACE”. Merriam-webster.com. N.p., 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017.
Kunder, Shirish. “SHIRISHLY SPEAKING: Shirish Kunder Is The Agony Uncle You Never Saw Coming! | Latest News & Updates At Daily News & Analysis”. dna. N.p., 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017. http://www.dnaindia.com/entertainment/comment-shirishly-speaking-shirish-kunder-is-the-agony-uncle-you-never-saw-coming-2311387
“Space – Definition Of Space In English | Oxford Dictionaries”. Oxford Dictionaries | English. N.p., 2017. Web. 12 Feb. 2017.